HE GHOSTED ME | while you wait

HE GHOSTED ME | while you wait


Hey guys it’s Fumnanya. If you’re new here welcome, if you’re
not welcome back. Either way, you are welcomed! I’ve been getting questions to my Instagram
and on YouTube just about the new series that I started and I decided to come on and answer
some of these questions. But I also wanted to do a makeup tutorial
because it’s been so long since I did 1 of those. So it’s gonna be sort of a chatty get ready
with me type video. The first thing I want to address is this
issue of submission. In my video on, I think it was the preparing
to be a Godly wife 1, I mentioned submission and a couple peel were confused. Basically people took it left. The part of the Bible that talks about wives
submitting to their husbands is the part that talks about marriage and it has guidelines
for what men are supposed to do. It says men love your wives and it says wives
submit to your husbands. When I talked about what happened in that
video, I encourage you to watch it, it wasn’t that I had no choice. I could have chosen to go despite what my
dad had advised me to do. But I made a decision to take what he said
into consideration and allow what he said to influence my behavior. Some of the comments that were sort of attacking
what I said about submission were saying do what you want, go where you want to go, be
your own woman. I strongly believe that being your own woman
means making your own decisions. If you decide to take what someone who loves
you and who you respect, if you decide to take their advice into consideration and allow
that to tailor your behavior then that’s being your own woman as well. I don’t believe that being your own woman
means doing whatever you want and not considering others just in the name of showing and proving
your independence. For me being my own woman means that I make
a decision to submit to certain people in my life, who I believe have been given an
authority to speak into my life and to advise me. My father is 1 of those people so if he tells
me I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to do this, I decide to take what he says
into consideration and allow his advice to tailor my behavior. That’s a decision that I made and that’s how
I choose to be my own woman. When I do get married my husband will be 1
of those people. I feel like that should answer all the confusion. Someone was saying they’d love to hear how
I date as a single Christian and I love that question because I feel like that’s a really
good question. If you’re asking to sort of figure out how
you should date as a Christian I think this is something that you need to spend time praying
about and meditating about and just thinking God what would you have me do for this season
of my life? I don’t think that there’s a one-size-fit-all
answer. I will do that video. I just also want to remind you to pray and
ask God what he would have you do for your personality and who you are and the season
that you are in in your life because it’s not one size fits all. Can I just say I love the stories you guys
tell me in response to my preparing to be a godly wife video where you’re like literally
had this situation super annoying and now I see how it’s preparation. I love those stories because it’s like life
is supposed to prepare you for different stages. I honestly believe that God uses every season
of your life to prepare you for the next. So definitely keep those stories coming, I
really love those. The question is I have noticed a pattern that
every time I tell a guy that I’m not interested in him the next one who approaches me has
the same qualities plus more (he’s an upgrade). The most recent guy who approached me seemed
to be everything that my husband is supposed to be (God has disclosed some things to me). Then she says long story short this guy stopped
texting her and left her hanging twice after they made plans, more than twice actually. Things moved really fast between them feelings
wise and then she informed him that she no longer wanted to date him. She doesn’t know how to date as a woman of
God waiting for her husband and she’s a little embarrassed because she was really excited
about this guy and she told a couple people about it. The first thing I want to say is you absolutely
should not feel embarrassed for telling your friends about something and having it not
work out. I feel like this is so common for girls to
say and it’s honestly like why are you embarrassed? If this guy doesn’t act right that’s a reflection
on him, that doesn’t have anything to do with you or how beautiful, you are how smart you
are. Don’t ever let somebody’s son make you question
how amazing you are. If he doesn’t see that that’s an issue with
him. I really don’t think that you should take
it personally or allow it to make you feel embarrassed or less than or anything like
that. Just take it as a learning experience and
say this didn’t work out, God what is it you want me to learn from this, what is it that
you want me to understand from this experience? How can I be different moving forward, if
I need to be different at all. I don’t think people do that enough like you
need to view every season of your life as preparation for the next and just treat it
as a learning experience that God is trying to teach you something through everything
that you encounter. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about at
all. As for dating as a Christian, I will do a
video in depth about that so I don’t want to go too far in depth about that right now. But I do want to touch on a couple things
based on what you said. You said that he seemed like an upgrade and
God had revealed some things to you, I’m guessing about your husband and what he’s supposed
to be like or what he’s supposed to look like and he seemed to meet those criteria. Based on the way you phrased it, it seems
like it may apply to more than 1 person is basically how I understand it, the things
that God told you. I think that’s a little more tough because
then it puts you in this position of oh is that my husband, is that my husband, is that
my husband? You’re looking for something. Here’s what I want to encourage you to do. Try to exercise the utmost patience in this
area. I can appreciate God told you certain things
about this guy and how he’s supposed to be. But I think besides that just let go and let
God. Don’t allow speculation to sort of take hold,
don’t allow anxiety to take hold. It’s great to be expectant and look forward
to what God has spoken to you. I think it’s also important to not allow that
to become a trap for you where you’re always looking for those traits in the men you meet
and the men that you interact with. Then you set yourself up for disappointment
because not every guy is gonna be that. I think just being really patient and adopting
the mindset of when it’s time God will give me further guidance in this area and tell
me what else to do. I would just say be at peace about it. Now I’m going to take my Mac mineralize skin
finish powder and just set my lid area so that when I put my eye shadow down it all
blends together really nicely. You didn’t say kind of what happened as far
as you guys spending time together. But I think what happens a lot of the time,
sometimes when you meet someone new you get really carried away. You’re like oh my gosh this guy is perfect,
this guy is everything that my husband is supposed to be, this guy is saying all the
right things, he’s saying he wants to marry me, he’s saying he knows that I’m the 1 for
him etc. So you kind of give yourself over to him quickly. You can give yourself over to someone in many
different ways. I think the most common way to do it is to
just give up a lot of your time to this person right off the bat. Even if it’s not right off the bat you give
up a lot of your time to this person before really taking the time to think rationally
about what’s happening and what he’s saying. I think this is where the danger comes in
because he’s saying all the right things and you’re spending time with him or you’re talking
to him on a regular basis. You’re not giving yourself space to really
process what he’s saying and process whether or not what he’s saying is matching up with
what he’s doing. We’ve all been there, you meet a guy and he’s
really excited about you, he’s really interested, he’s texting you every day, he’s hitting you
up constantly, he wants to see you. It’s really important to give yourself time
to process your interactions with this person. Give yourself time to think about what he’s
saying. Give yourself time to think about how what
he’s saying is or is not matching up with what he’s doing. Give yourself time to really process how this
person acts and your interactions with this person because otherwise what happens is infatuation
clouds your judgment. Then when to you out of nowhere this person
stops responding to you, this person starts flaking on you, it’s a surprise. I think it’s also important to make sure that
you’re praying. So if you meet a guy pray in the beginning,
like God is this what you want me to do? Don’t be in a rush. The easiest way for the enemy to confuse you
and get you in a position that you’re disappointed and hurt is to send you exactly what you’ve
always thought you wanted. To send you exactly the person who’s gonna
say the things that resonate with you, say the things that you’re dying to hear, who’s
gonna tell you exactly those things that you’ve always wanted in a ma, always wanted for your
future. Don’t think you can look at it and be like
oh he’s saying the right things, he’s acting the right way. No you need to pray you need to ask God, God
I met this guy seems perfect what in your all-knowing capacity what do you think I should
do in this situation? I’m telling you right now this will save you
so much heartache. I’m gonna blend that color out using my mineralized
skin finish it’s just my foundation color. I’m gonna blend under the brow. This is such a common question, someone said
can you make a video about how God talks to you and how you know it’s Him? I’ve been there where in the beginning definitely
of my faith walk it was kind of like God is that you is that not you? It can be really confusing and really frustrating
because sometimes you’re gonna get it wrong. You’re gonna think it was God and then it’s
gonna turn out that it wasn’t. That was hard for me because it felt like
whoa. But the 1 thing that I can tell you is if
you want to understand God’s voice and God’s heart for you and you want to know how do
I hear from Him, you have to spend time in the Word. You have to spend time reading your Bible,
you have to spend time doing devotional. You can’t get around it. This is how I explain it to people if my dad
comes within 50 feet of this building I will know. Even if I can’t see him, the minute I hear
him laugh the minute I hear him talk I will know that my dad is here. Why is that? Because I’ve spent time with my dad, I’ve
spoken to him, we’ve had conversations, I talk to him regularly, I’ve known him for
years and years. So I can recognize his voice. Honestly it’s the same exact thing. You can’t expect to be able to recognize the
voice of someone you don’t know. If you don’t spend time in Scripture, if you
don’t read your Bible, if you don’t do devotional you are not going to be able to recognize
God’s voice because you don’t know Him, you don’t know what His word sounds like, you
don’t know what His heart is to certain situations. Reading your Bible is the best and surest
way to ensure that you’ll be able to hear God’s voice when he speaks to you individually. I have had seasons where whatever reason I
fall behind on my Bible reading and guess what happens? It becomes harder for me to discern the voice
of God. You have to be really intentional, spend the
time in the Word, do your devotions. Some people ask me what does it sound like? Honestly like let me tell you something, you’re
not gonna know it’s God based on what it sounds like, you’re gonna know it’s God through relationship
and you’re gonna recognize that it’s Him once you spend time in His Word and you learn what
His heart is for you then you’ll know it’s Him, through relationship. Just like I said with my dad. There’s no 1 way to know that it’s Him, that’s
the first thing. Secondly he can speak to you in so many ways. When people say oh is it audible? In a way it’s kind of funny because sometimes
God will speak to me I’ll be watching TV and something that person says will resonate and
then I’ll know God is trying to tell me something here, it could be anything. I could be talking to someone and they could
say something that just speaks to something that I was meditating on that morning in devotional
and I’ll know that God is trying to tell me something. Sometimes it’s listening to a message and
the preacher dropped something that’s not even related to the topic of the sermon and
I’ll know God’s trying to speak to me there. Through a relationship you start to understand
the ways that God communicates with you. Some people it’s through worship music and
I’ve had that too. I’ve had that too Some people it’s you know
internal sometimes. I know some people who God speaks to you through
dreams I know people who God speaks to images. It’s different for everyone the only way to
know that it’s God is that you have to foster that relationship with Him consistently and
over time. I’m going to use pink parfait from my pink
sprint palette and this is by sleek. This person says I’m 17 and my friends don’t
believe that kissing is fornication. For those of you don’t know what fornication
is fornication is the word used to describe having sex before marriage. Let me say this your friends are correct on
the definition of Fornication. Fornication means sex before marriage kissing
isn’t sex in the classical definition. There’s back and forth about whether that
should count as sex. So that’s probably where your friends are
coming from and saying that it’s not fornication. I think the question that you’re getting at
though is whether or not kissing is permissible. There’s back-and-forth about that in the community
of Christians. If you know Meghan Good and Devon Franklin
they read they wrote a book called The Wait and in that book they talk about waiting to
have sex before marriage. They explicitly say in that book that they
did kiss while dating, they didn’t have sex but they did kiss. If you are familiar with Heather Lindsey she’s
very vocal about the fact that she had the conviction that she should not kiss the guy
that she dates, that she should wait before marriage. So when she met her husband and he expressed
that same sentiment to her that’s 1 of the ways that she knew that he was the 1. I think that the Bible is very clear about
some things and then less clear about others. This area of kissing, hand-holding, stuff
like that this is one of those areas that are gray. I think the best thing that I can tell you
is you need to pray about it, ask God to lead you and guide you. So the answer to your question technically
are your friends correct? Yes because kissing is not sex before marriage,
it’s not fornication. To the question I think you are getting at,
is it advisable before marriage? I think that’s gonna take you getting into
God’s Word and asking for discernment, getting deep into prayer and just asking Him what
His will is for you. I don’t think that it’s for me to give you
an answer on that. I think it’s for you to sort of do the exercise
of getting into the scripture, praying, meditating and just seeing what God would speak to you
in that area. Then on the lower lash line to kind of smoke
it out I’m gonna use that same cherry cordial color. Fun fact this is one of the first high-end
makeup purchases I ever made, is the Hypnose mascara. I really like it. For highlight I’m using la peach because your
girl is in love with it. (16:56). Then for lips I’m using Steela Notte. This is the finished look. Ok guys, that’s it. I hope you did enjoy. If you have questions that you don’t want
to put out there for all to see, then DM on Instagram is the best way. I feel like that’s what I’m on the most
besides YouTube. Just let me know if you want me to keep it
private or if it’s OK if I share it. Just letting me know before I do another Q&A
video. I love your questions, I love hearing from
you, what new with you and stuff. Definitely keep me posted with that. If you did enjoy this video thumbs up for
more videos like it. Comment any suggestions for topics down below. If you are not already please subscribe so
you don’t miss any future updates from me. If you are subscribed next to the subscribe
button there is a little bell if you click that you’ll be notified every time I upload
a video. This is helpful because sometime videos don’t
always populate in the subscription feed so doing this will ensure you don’t miss any
uploads from me and that’s really helpful if you’re following a series like let’s
say my relationship series. Thank you so much for watching, I love you
guys and I’ll see you in my next video. Bye!

About the Author: Earl Hamill

73 Comments

  1. Your hair looks bomb!! Loving this new look, well at least new to me! lol, you look fab with every style you do though!

  2. You gave great answers and I look forward to more of these types of videos with a makeup tutorial included. I hope law school is going well. 😁

  3. The answer you gave about knowing when God is talking to you….the analogy you gave about your dad….praise Him! You spoke nothing but TRUTH and I NEEDED to hear this!

  4. I would say if there is anything that would arouse your hormones, don't do. ex. if kissing on the lips arouse you, don't kiss on the lips, instead allow him to kiss you on the cheek, forehead, back of your hand.

  5. Girl! I know that it is God Who made me come across your channel. I cannot get enough of your videos. Many things you speak about are things God is showing me as well. You are a blessing. Love your videos! Stay obedient, beautiful WOG! 😊😉

  6. Thank you so much for breaking down hearing the voice of God. This is an area I've had questions about since I surrendered my life to Christ. The analogy you used about your Father and the need to have a relationship really opened my eyes on hearing God's voice. I'm very encouraged by your videos. May God continue to bless you.❤

  7. Hi I m definitely new to your channel! I m dealing with a difficult situation right now, and I was praying about it no more than 1 hour ago when I came across your channel. It s so helpful, encouraging to know that I m not alone in my journey as a young Christian woman, struggling to stay into God's Will. And the situation that I m into is the exact opposite of God's Will. I need prayers to help me go out of it! But really thank you for your advise. God bless you!

  8. Can you just come over and do my makeup everyday please? 💄 😆 we have a spare room. I will put a bed in there for you. Hahahahaha also I just love your heart. I'm happily married with two little daughters so I'm really not sure why I'm watching except it's good to relate to someone with similar views even though I'm in the dating my husband and mothering phase of life. As my daughters grow I'm so glad to see there are young women like you who I can point them to as role models.

  9. You should be VERY Glad if a Man stops calling it means he's not your Soulmate n you are not his and he still looking!… GOOD he didn't waste too much of your precious time using you when CLEARLY there is No LOVE connection. WHEN IT'S Real you call each other at a minimum twice a day and you really love being together… Your make UP is Flawless the lipcolor is 💥Popin!

  10. Thanks so much about your response to that question of kiss. I believe that our work with God is general and also personalised.
    Though I would say kissing might lead some to unwanted acts, while it might not for others. In all seeking God and his righteousness is priority! God bless you.

  11. Glad I found your channel. God has blessed you with some quality wisdom to nourish us with. Good luck with your studies..make Africa and beyond proud (i loved your Nigerian tag) Take care <3

  12. I loved this video. You did an excellent job explaining the “choice” associated with choosing to submit to wise counsel. That’s exactly what good decision making is all about: being teachable, being humble, and not having so much pride or a sense of entitlement that “can’t nobody tell us nothing.” You’re just a beautiful young lady & God has blessed you to have an earthly father who is present in your life. Some will not relate to your choice simply because they don’t know what it feels like to trust daddy & have him around to make your life better & your pain less pronounced. Moreover, some believe in learning by trial and error. It’s great though – when we can honor our parents’ thoughts/ opinions. God bless.

  13. Your makeup looks nice, but the lipstick is too dark and takes away the softness. Just lighten up the lipstick. The color of the blush is fine, but should be a little lighter. Not trying to criticize… in reality no one blushes that red. The color is right, but just need to be lighter. The eye area is beautiful. You're pretty so you don't need to hide your beauty with light colors that are put on dark especially reddish colors with your tone. Either that or brown to light brown with a little frost.

  14. Maha Maven, thank you so much for being real and maintaining your spiritual status/input in your conversation, this can relate to anyone who is waiting. Bless you.

  15. Love the graphics generator. I have been married for fourteen years. I chose my wife because of her physical beauty mostly. I have Bipolar Disorder. I should not have gone forward with the marriage. We became sexually intimate. That corrupted judgement on both our parts. My motives were self serving. I thought it was a bad decision and that proved true. I knew it was sinful and I did it anyway. We have both been reaping negative consequences since. Obeying God's word first will always give you a better chance of having a more healthy relationship.

  16. Love this video…what you shared is so in line with God. Don't worry about those who are not just located there yet, but what you shared was God. Awesome work. Continue on for the Lord.

  17. God Bless you sis! Did not even fully finish the video yet and had to comment. Thank you for your wisdom and God being able to speak to us through you. ❤ ughh needed this!

  18. Girl, you're amazing! I defo look up to you! Great to see you're passionate about following Jesus. All the best with law school! Best wishes from a fellow naija sister x

  19. The feeling of getting in touch wit God in my dreams alone makes me happy to wait the more because it really fun seeing ur future and unseen things before it comes to reality… Have a relationship with God n you will hear from him…Gid bless you Maya

  20. I saw your video on how to be a godly wife. I thought you had a great approach to answering that question. This video was interesting and helpful. But you caught me off guard with your comment saying If this guy doesn't act right then that representation of him." Why automatically blame the guy? in my opinion, that is similar to attempting to start and when it fails to start just arbitrary assigning responsibility for the failure to a random component in the car.

    Moreover, why is it permissible for the woman you told the story about to tell a guy she not interested in him with no regard to his ego, but let her ego be affected when another guy she likes loses interest in her? Why didn't address her more objectively? You are wise and know that when addressing matters of the heart it can be more damaging to conclude your opinion with only one side of the story. In fact, one could argue she isn't acting right for the way she handles the other guys. Maybe she became someone over time that was different from the women he met. (I''m just tossing out different ideas as to why the guy might have pulled back.) The point I'm making is your response sounds bias and I was shocked it was not more objective.

  21. I love the way you answered the question you were asked about hearing God's voice. Your answer was so clear and simple loved it.

  22. I like everything that you said… 😊 and it is great while listening, I am also learning to do makeups. 😊

  23. You're awesome! Thank you Maha for this encouraging video. And I also wish that you could do my makeup. I can't even do it while focusing on it, and here you are doing a YouTube video while applying your makeup…WOW! God bless you my sister.

  24. The first video in the series just popped into my feed and i thought lemme take a chance and halfway into the second video Im like this woman is sooo wise. I just want to thank you for letting God be in your life. It gives me strength and hope. You are a
    also so calm in how you respond to the negative comments from the first vid and I'm just amazed. I pray that all young women get to have the poise that you have and more, you included.

  25. He has someone else.I always felt it's easier for men to find someone new.while we (some women)are stuck on an old situation or relationship he has moved on happily..

  26. I really needed to hear this. This literally just happened to me, and I didn't pray enough and let God lead.

  27. Do not kiss before marriage. No kissing, no fondling, no handling! Flee temptation in every form that it seeks to present itself. You should be able to completely tell them not to kiss. What are the odds that two able bodied persons will stop at kissing? Kissing is also a sin!

  28. Hey! I’m a somewhat new subscriber who is loving your videos girl!! Keep up the good work! Also just wanted to let you know that before I met my husband, I was waiting and celibate as well. But even before that time when I was really into My faith I feel like I went through a period where I was dating guys and desperately wanted to be married but I really wasnt prepared (looking back) even though at that time I thought I was. I say this to say, God WILL send your husband at the perfect time when you least expect it! You have everything going for you and I’m looking forward to seeing that time God gives you the man of your dreams. Hope this makes sense! Lol ❤️😊

  29. I love how this is so timely and relevant. And funny enough I've beat myself up so many times over failed scenarios and how I always tell friends about different guys all the time. And I agree with US getting easily carried away early on. we end up forgetting the basics. but thanks for reassuring that I'm normal 😂😂😂… and of course prayer issa great tool and taking time out from the guy to process things. Thanks for the wisdom

  30. Very true. Independence actually goes against being submissive to your husband. You females are so lost. This woman has her head securely on her shoulders.

  31. Just like woman below, I love your heart. I’m also married, and my husband and I are wanting to grow our family. Your videos have definitely made me reflect on my journey of dating in the past. I made some mistakes, but have learned a lot along the way. Today, I’m married to a man who God has used to make me better. I’m still a work in progress though. I just love how you encourage others through seasons of singleness, dating, career, etc. I have a younger sister, and I want to put her on to your videos as she is desiring marriage. Thank you for all you do, and your makeup is always on point. Will continue to follow.

  32. I'm going through this right now..I barely hear from him, so I barely text back. And then he gets mad and tells me I need to contact him more. He shows lack of interest so I show lack of interest.

  33. That independent women ideal is a little skewed. Authority is in ever part of Gods kingdom and if anyone believes that you ca lead life with a "doing me attitude " without consequences you'll be disappointed. A man of God, my husband has every right to lead his family because hell always make decisions with me in mind first, by asking and valuing my opinions x with respect. And that's what I'm chasing….proverbs 31 women stand and be bold in Gods word;hes never wrong, not even in so called modern times.

  34. But as women of God I don't believe we are supposed to Adorn ourselves with all kinds of jewels put on so much makeup and false eyelashes and fake hair and all that stuff the Bible says that we are supposed to be humble… but most women of today do all of these things like the Egyptian did.. we are supposed to be set apart from the world not be of the world and look and act like the world..

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