In my chair — a makeup artists perspective on beauty: Eva DeVirgilis at TEDxRVAWomen

In my chair — a makeup artists perspective on beauty: Eva DeVirgilis at TEDxRVAWomen


Translator: Sherry Yan
Reviewer: Jiwon Lee “I’m sorry you have to touch my face. Look at this breakout; I look disgusting.” “I’m sorry, but I am not a pretty woman.” “No. Thank you, but no.
I look like crap.” “The doctor says
that I have to lose weight. So, sorry. This is what
you gotta work with.” “I look in the mirror, and
all I see is a tired mom. And I see these wrinkles,
and I feel old and ugly.” And this is what I hear every single
solitary day of my life. I am a makeup artist,
and these are real words from real women. I’m also an actress,
but for my past 7 years of doing makeup, I have discovered, within the first 3 seconds
of sitting in my chair, almost every single woman apologizes
to me for the way she looks. Doesn’t matter how young, how old, what socioeconomic background
she comes from, how traditionally beautiful she is, almost every single woman apologizes
and does not feel that she measures up to this new standard of beauty. And I’m sure that maybe some of you
might be able to relate to this apology thing? I see some of you nodding. Well, it just so happens that I was actually the makeup artist
for TEDx last year, and the same thing happened
when these incredibly innovative women sat in my chair. They apologized. Now, I have discovered that
there is a very small group of women who don’t apologize. And these are the movers, the shakers,
they’re the powerhouses. They could be CEO’s, or stay-at-home moms, but they don’t measure themselves
by a mirror. Sure, they wear makeup,
but they don’t apologize for it. They live in the moment, and they let themselves have
that pleasure of living in the moment and in the now. And I am in awe of these women. And there’s probably some of you
very rare, precious, confident creatures in this audience. And to you ladies, I say go ahead
and take a bathroom break! You can be back in like 5½ minutes
or something, because you don’t need this! You don’t need to hear what I have to say. And the other women
in this very small group are the women who are aware
of their own mortality. And I’ll get back to them in a little bit. So, a woman will make
an appointment with me for a variety of different reasons. A lot of times, she just feels down
about the way she looks, and her friend will tell her, “Oh,
you have to go see Eva, she’s amazing. She’s great. She’ll teach you
makeup tricks, it’s going to change your life.” But I have to be honest. I think that makeup
is the very least of what I do. But I’m not saying, denying, that makeup does not play a very real part in making a woman feel more attractive,
and thus more confident, because we’re all aware of those biological cues
of attraction between human beings, like symmetry, and color, and light. And when we see them in ourselves
or somebody else, it pleases our primordial senses. And I, as a makeup artist,
am very adept with the skills and tools to very easily manipulate and enhance
those bio-cues on the face. That’s my job. But I’ll be honest with you. I think every single woman
who sits in my chair is beautiful with or without makeup. She just has no idea! Which is why I like to think of myself as treading in the deep end
of a shallow profession. (Laughter) Because I use makeup as my tool
to help her believe it. Makeup is my therapy puppet to help a woman open up
about how she’s feeling, and express to me what her concerns are,
so I can address them. And you know what?
It works! Almost every time, I see
a woman leap up out of my chair with this new skip in her step. I see her actually look in the mirror
and actually smile at herself, even if it’s temporary. There is a very real transformation
that happens in this chair. “Oh no. What are you talking about?
I am not a pretty woman. My mother-in-law says that
I have a round face, and there is no way to make
a round, fat face pretty.” And I can’t believe what I hear,
because all I see is a beautiful woman. And I say, “Matir, but look at your
gorgeous, golden skin! Here, hold the mirror,
watch what I’m doing. Look at these perfect almond eyes, these lips, my God,
in my next life, I want these lips. Your smile just lit up this room!” “You’re right.” Now, you would think
because this is my job, and I do this everyday,
and I hear what women say, and I have this unique perspective, that I would be different. But — here’s what happens
when I sit in somebody’s makeup chair. “Oh, God. I’m sorry,
I have a very tough face. I hate that I am actually dependent
on eyeliner to even walk out my front door. Oh, oh no, don’t worry,
my nose is like a Muppet’s fist. Just like ee, ee, erh. So, no worries trying to cover it up.” I have said those exact words
in somebody else’s makeup chair! I, too, do not feel that I measure up, or can hold up to this insane,
new measure of beauty in this world, that’s like porn and fashion,
and Photoshop, all mixed up in one. (Laughter)
(Applause) Yeah. Good luck with that. (Applause) And it’s not going away.
So what are we going to do? What am I going to do
to feel and appreciate what I have? Which brings me back to that other
small group of women that don’t apologize. Oh — all right — ah “It’s my birthday! I’m 96 years old,
and I’m on borrowed time now, honey. But, I think I look pretty good.” “Ah, this feels so good,
I’m going to fall asleep. Yes, I have two little ones.
Two and four year old. And I just had a double mastectomy,
and six rounds of chemo. So, I’m just so happy
to be pampering myself. And I have to say, I love my new wig!” Is this what it’s going to take for me? Is this what it’s going to take
for me to appreciate what I have? To be confronted with the prospect
of illness or death? Is that what it’s going to take for us
to appreciate what we have? Well, I’m not going to take that. I don’t accept it. So, in desperate need
for a solution to all of this, I thought, “What can I do?” So, I thought, “Well, why don’t I do
what other women do? They do it, and it works for them,
even if it’s temporary. Why don’t I try it? Why don’t I sit in Eva’s chair?” “What would Eva say to me
if I apologized to Eva?” I know. It sounds cheesy. I know. But it’s actually very scary. It’s the reason why I didn’t even want
to finish this TED talk to begin with. Because it’s what I know I need to do. Eva, stop saying that about your eyes. You have your mother’s eyes, and you would never think for a second that this woman who gave you life
and wisdom was not measuring up. Okay, stop.
Eva, stop saying that about your nose. You have your father’s
and grandmama’s nose. Yes, your Italian genes are prominent, but so is your spirit because of it! And you can identify the notes
of a lush, jammy Primitivo wine better than most because of it, probably. So, I guess I’m deciding that if lining my eyes brings symmetry
to my face and to my mind, then I guess I’ll do it. And if adding a touch of color to my lips allows me to bring joy and color
to my speech — then why the heck not? And if adding light reflection to my skin
gives me the little boost of confidence for me to shed light on a
seemingly superficial topic to a group of intellectuals, then I will do it! And that makes me feel beautiful. And I will sit in my chair,
and I will listen, and believe, that we are all beautiful. I will make that appointment. Thank you. (Applause)

About the Author: Earl Hamill

30 Comments

  1. my one question: why do women have to equate to beauty and does it really have to correlate to our worth?
    INCREDIBLY WELL SPOKEN AND SO SPOT ON

  2. problem is , its because of women like her ,women feel like there not good enough on there own . like when you praise them when u put make up on them , your telling them they look better with the make up …otherwise u would tell them they dont need make up they already look perfect..

  3. If you REALLY believed you were beautiful without the makeup … YOU WOULDNT BE WEARING IT !!!! SERIOUSLY>>>>>>>>

  4. I'm kind of a makeup artist myself and the best reaction i can get from a client is tears. Literal tears when you need paper towels to save the makeup. Because they're finally feeling beautiful and gorgeous and i made that happen. Those tears of happiness is the best part of the job tbh

  5. I do agree that women should take care of themselves and look their very best. However I do not agree when some women especially old women put a lot of make up on and expensive clothes and lots of propaganda to tell people who and what theya re not. I cal it false imagery. Aiswaria rAi for exampleis a woman who does not deserve all the attention that she gets. and many really beautiful women are living their lives in various workplaces and do their jobs brilliantly and they do not get rewarded accordingly for their contribution to the society.

  6. Ok, let's just take a moment to appreciate her acting skills and accent impressions.
    I wasn't expecting to shed tears at the end of the video. I felt very sad for those women who only get to appreciate their beauty after encountering health issues.
    I'm very happy I'm blessed with confidence even though I have flaws. My hair started falling when I was a teenager and now that I'm 32, my scalp is showing in the front side of my head, but do I hide it when I go out? No. I've made peace with myself. I even go on dates without make up, and you know what I hear? "You're beautiful without makeup. I like how you look. Don't ever wear makeup"
    Love yourself unconditionally. Be a power woman
    Forget about all those idiots who measure/judge you by your appearance. They're either blind or they themselves lack confidence

  7. Her impersonation is great ! I wish she could do my makeup and show me how to do mine better, and talk to her! I'm sure it would be empowering to meet her!

  8. 1:57 I thought she was going to say, "There is a small number of women who don't apologize to me, because they don't wear make up! Or they do their own make up! 💄

  9. ok you are beoutiful and what ? kids know that becouse parent love them regarless of what they look , actualy they are beautiful but their beauty will be reduce to physical beauty

  10. This TED bring me to tears…Thank you, Eva. Your words will inspire an advertising video im writing. I'll spread your words through this work.

  11. I was a makeup and artists and beauty advisor for so many years and like you I seriously find beauty in everyone. I just extend that to my imperfect self.

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